Me and another victim of the Purple Death wear fake, cracking smiles.
We all got a huge, be-musicked chocolate cake donated to us which I had the honor of slicing. I also had the honor of getting slightly sloshed at the Kinsale with my bosom pals Dana, Allison, Matt and Katie. Boy do those vegans know how to party.
In other news, today I got the affirmation I've been waiting for all my life. Kids suck, and here's why. I was working on the third floor (where all the sparkly pink stuff is), and a child of maybe three or four started screaming uncontrollably, swinging from her mother's arm like a lame chimp. She grabbed a display of silly magnets (inscribed with phrases like "LOL" and "QT") and threw it to the floor, covering it with her body. I tried to take it from her and got an earful, let me tell you. The mom said, "I'll get it from her," and I was perfectly happy to leave them to it. Five minutes later, they come up to the register, the child's still screaming, and the mother puts the display in front of me and starts taking off all the magnets. "Uhh, that's a display," I said without conviction. "I know," she said. "I'm taking all of these. Well, at least twelve." So she buys a pink magnetic board and $16.21 worth of those stupid magnets and reconstructs the display for this child who is still screaming, crying for a reason no one, not even she herself, can comprehend. How much useless crap do people have to buy to placate bratty, noisy kids? Where does the travesty end? In bankruptcy, I'll bet.
Speaking of travesty, has anyone read this story? Looks like I'm going to smell like salmon for days and days now.
The travesty ends in corporal punishment. The child should not run the show. Proper parenting would be able to handle that.
ReplyDeleteNot that the mother should beat her child, but the child needs to know who's in charge.